we are a low word count, any level of experience rp set in harry's 3rd year at hogwarts. students and adults alike are welcome! given we are set fairly early in the series, everything that happens from this point on will be up to us! perhaps sirius black will be cleared and peter arrested, or perhaps something darker lurks in the shadows...
Post by Rose Ameile Hunter on Jul 12, 2018 10:22:20 GMT
There was only one thing she could do, to possibly pull him out of wherever he was hiding. It was the day after the full moon, she had drunk well into the evening, as she had slept most of the day away in her misery, and she had had enough. So enough, that she had nicked firewiskey from the kitchens planning on drinking until she just couldn't feel anymore.
It was working, well, at least until McGonagall found her and her mostly drank drink and confiscated it with a heaving sigh. She was then pulled, very roughly ("Ow, Gonagall! That hurts!" "You'll be hurting more than this come morning, Miss Lupin.") into her office and sat at the desk. Water was placed in front of her and McGonagall left, presumably to find her brother.
Well good. That was her plan anyway.
Rose had frowned when she dropped the Lupin name. No one ever used that unless she was in trouble, or dying, which at current felt like both. She had nearly finished that bottle. If she had finished that bottle, she may have passed out and slept for the next three days. But no, now she was going to sober up, probably still crash again, but not nearly as long as she wanted.
She wanted to cry. Hell, by the wetness on her cheeks she probably was crying. Good. Crying is good.
To be honest, she was much like her brother in several aspects. While she put on a brave face and tried to make it like everything around her was just fine it really wasn't. Sure, her housemates did know about her condition and they didn't seem to mind her, as none of them came up missing after each full moon that past... but they were all still very... wary of her. No one wanted to get close. Werewolves trust only their kind, hah! That's because Humans didn't trust them! Regardless of their human state! She was only being a wolf... twelve times out of three hundred and sixty-five days of every year... that's like... she scrunched her face up... three per cent of every year! THREE! Which is like, thirty per cent of her entire life!! Damn. Humans sucked hardcore.
Hell, they didn't even give Augustine a chance. Just shot him in cold blood and the sad part? He was only defending himself! Because a human had wandered into his territory at the wrong time! She sighed heavily, placing her forehead on the cold table and smacking her forehead against it softly. Why did she even bother anymore? She should just give into whatever Remus figured what reality was. There was no love, no normality of this. She wouldn't be able to get married.... or have kids. God, she'd been such a fucking idiot for even trying. Look at her! It was no use trying to fight for rights and whatever. Best to just take the potion and hide like a good girl. They... she would only ever seen as a monster anyways. Regardless of whatever other features she had. Which just made her a monster anyways!
Ah, yep, there was the tears. Why did McGonagall have to take her Whiskey???
There was a sudden crash of glass that could be heard down the hall (Gonagall had left the door to her office open) and anyone who walked in would see Rose staring down at her hand, which had several large shards of glass embedded into it and water strewn about the floor. But she wasn't really looking at it, but the blood dripping into the puddle of water at her feet.
What was the point in even trying anymore? She should of just listened. It would be better.
Remus had been grading some papers, and on the side he had been composing a letter for Dora, a cheesy love letter. He was much better now, though he had a couple bandages along his chest, but luckily he was able to return to teaching today. While his movements were slow, most of the students seemed to understand because he was ‘attacked’ by something in the forest while getting ready for a lesson. Or at least that was the story that was put out without his consent. Either way, if he denied it, it would just make things even more suspicious. Just yesterday though, he had agreed to finally relax and just… let things happen. That was why he was composing the cheesy love letter. He was old fashioned and cheesy.
However, as he was working on his work, there was a knock at his door and McGonagall had entered the office. After a short conversation, with a small quip about being thankful Tonks wasn’t there on his part or it could have been awkward (hey, he was getting better and McGonagall smirked ever so slightly), Remus sighed, tucking away the essays he was grading and the love letter into a secret place in his desk so it wouldn’t be found prior to him finishing it, getting up and leaving. McGonagall said she was going to meet with Dumbledore and so her office would be free for awhile if needed.
When he made his way down the hall to the office, he heard a shattering and Remus quickly dashed to the office, an arm around his chest where the worst of the wounds had been, hoping he wouldn’t reopen it and have to go back to the hospital wing, breathing heavily and looking in at Rose who had shattered the bottle.
“Rose.” He let out a small pained sound and walked closer to her. He pulled out a bar of chocolate and offered it to her, no words needed to express the message he was giving her ‘Eat it, you’ll feel better’.
Post by Rose Ameile Hunter on Jul 13, 2018 3:05:19 GMT
She made no movement, towards him or the proffered chocolate bar.
'Eat it, you'll feel better.'
She couldn't control the darkening of her expression as she finally lifted her eyes to his.
"Funny," she said darkly, eyes gleaming and dangerous, "what it takes for you to stop running and pay attention to the world around you."
Anyone could tell this was not normal; she was sad, distressed and the madness within that she fought every day was just too overpowering today. It was all too much. Her eyes dropped to her hand and she began to ever so delicately pick the shards out of her hand, dropping them to the floor. Once she was sure all the shards were out she clenched the injured hand with only a tiny bit of a wince.
"They killed him," she finally said, not knowing where to start this conversation, so she began with the most prominent thing on her mind. "Augustine. You know, that other werewolf from Beauxbatons. They killed him. Cold blood. All because a stupid human was where they weren't supposed to be. No questions, nothing. I see the unfairness of it all now. I mean - I'm not stupid, I know the world is unfair, especially to us. And now..."
Her throat tightened and tears threatened again, "and now, I don't know what to do."
Her jaw clenched. "I've just been living in this made up fantasy of a world, where I had hope that it would work out. That I would be able to live as Rose. How stupid I have been. There's not a damn drop of hope left for us. There's no way for us to have families or any of that! It would just put ourselves and others in danger."
She lifted her head, not looking at him, but at the doorway behind him, "I just wanted to prove to you that not everyone in the world is going to think the same way as the people who hate us, who fear us. Take Dora for example, but she is one candle in all this darkness. But even I can't see the light in the darkness anymore. I wanted to prove that the madness can be controlled and we don't have to be controlled by it; but the pain has been so much for you, that you can't even trust yourself with me... and it's unspeakable, the pain that knowledge causes me. When you were gone... it was manageable. I had... accepted it. But, now you're here and there's nothing stopping me from going to see you. It breaks my heart, to have you so close, yet so unattainable."
She felt so lost, so alone. "It never once crossed my mind, when I was little. That this was your fault. You weren't the one to attack me. No, in fact, it was quite the opposite. When your visits became increasingly infrequent; the first thing that crossed my mind was, 'does he hate me?' And then... and then you stopped coming altogether, and I tried to fight it. To fight that voice in my head that because you stopped coming, it was because you hated me."
She finally looked at him again, eyes full of pain. "I may be all pretty smiles and bright eyes, but when darkness falls and the silence engulfs me... It hurts, no matter what physical pain I cause myself. It's always there, the madness, the darkness; it suffocates me and won't release me from its clutches. I don't want to be alone anymore Remus. I'm scared. I have no one to turn to."
Slowly moving towards her and flicking the wand so he could get a seat in front of her, with little separation between where the two of them were sitting now, making sure she was turned so she could look directly at him. He reached out for her hand and with a flick of his wand, he healed up the cuts from the broken bottle. Now he supposed it was his turn to finally play older brother to her, a role he had been running from even before she was turned because of what he was. One might think after she was turned he wouldn’t be so afraid around her, but he was more afraid she’d hate him than anything because she would blame him for not being there – like he believed she should.
Taking in a deep breath, he leaned back in his chair slightly looking to her with his eyes level. “You’re human too. You have a heart, you have a mind, you’re human. I can’t… say I understand what happened with Augustine because I don’t have all the details, but there’s a lot of times when things like that happen. They were afraid, afraid of being next. It wasn’t right, and it was completely unfair but…”
Sighing again, he looked away for a moment towards the door and then back to Rose. “You were right. Dora isn’t the only light. That friend of yours, Elias, he’s also a light. James, Lily, Peter, they were all lights. Dumbledore. McGonagall. Even Severus when he’s in a good mood. There might not seem like there’s many lights out there, but it’s a matter of finding them. I’m not saying… to go out there and tell everyone, but… There will always be a light somewhere in your life. You were my guiding light after James, Lily and Peter all passed. I was afraid of you, afraid you’d hate me and I would no longer have anything in my life, that it would all be darkness even if that meant pushing you away.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You might be idealistic at times, rash, a bit too reckless, but you’re a wonderful person. No matter what, I believe in you. And… I might not be there as much as I should be for you, but… I’ll try to be better. I swear. I’m sorry I caused you so much pain when you were little. I’m sorry I didn’t write to you often. I’m sorry that things turned out this way.” He clenched a fist to the side and soon released it in an attempt to release a bit of the stress he was under right now.
“I’m here now, for you. I’ll… attempt to be there for you as much as possible in the future. Please don’t tell me it’s too late. Please…” He offers her the bar of chocolate again.
Post by Rose Ameile Hunter on Jul 14, 2018 5:43:20 GMT
Shivering, she looked to the hand he held. He was so close, his scent was filtering in through her drunk brain, confirming the fact he was sitting there in front of her. She allowed herself to look at him for a brief second as he healed her hand. She had to choke back a sob and tear her eyes away from him. It was too good to be true. But the sensation of warmth on her hand told her otherwise. The feeling of love and comfort from the healing spell. Her shoulders shook with repressed sobs, that in their positioning, she couldn't hide. Her eyes were on the hand he held and, shaking, she turned her hand palm to palm with his. The warmth of the touch coursed through her cold, numb body, thawing her out just slightly. Enough that when she looked at him, there was a glimmer of light in her eyes.''
It seemed that, even after all this time, it was always him who could cut through whatever darkness she was feeling. Elias had helped, but that had been when she accepted Remus was gone and out of her life forever. That she would have to make do and build her own home. Alone. Herself. She shuddered. It was no way a werewolf to live. They... they needed a pack. She needed Remus, there had been no doubt about it. Even Elias had seen that she was just never whole. Her smiles had never been full. Remus was everything. Her heart had been so empty, try as she might to patch it up and fill the hole Remus has inflicted on it. But now, just his very touch right now, palm to palm. She felt like home. She felt whole.
She reached out, taking the chocolate bar, accepting his olive branch. His hope. She would never turn down his hope. Giving or receiving. She shifted, taking both his hands in hers, closing her eyes and inhaling again, with him so close, his scent was like a bucket of ice water to her drunk brain. Each time making it even more real that he was there. Lifting one of his hands to her cheek, relishing in his touch, she finally spoke, her heart hammering in her chest. It was time for her to come clean about every dark thought he had. She couldn't go on living like this anymore...
"It worries me, what will happen after this school year ends. I know you've been getting by, but only just... but it kills me not to do anything. I wish you could stay here forever. Where you would be happy and healthy. But I know that's not how it works."
She gave a dry laugh. "We must have a penchant for guilt, you and I. Because the older I got, the more it became apparent to me the truth of it all. A warm bed, food to eat, the potion to drink. It was torture, torture to live, while I knew you were out there doing barely that. The only comfort I had was your letters and then they stopped. There was a period during my second year at Beauxbatons that I snapped; I stopped eating, I stopped sleeping, taking the potion. It was stupid, I know. Luckily Elias and Augustine knocked sense back into me, saying I was useless if I just destroyed myself. How would I be able to help you then? What would it prove? What would be gained? Nothing. In fact, thinking back on it now - I probably shouldn't have even told you about it just now..."
She takes a deep breath. "I'm not blaming you for it, as I know you were thinking you were only doing what was best, but I need for you to understand that I'm not someone who just forgets. 'Oh, that person doesn't write to me anymore! Oh well!' I'm not that type of person, Remus. I'm your sister. I'd like to think my love for you runs as deep as your friends' did. If not deeper. Especially since we're both cursed. Your friends fought for your happiness and I will too. I don't even have to run the risk of becoming an unregistered animagus, but I'll do that too! I'll do anything..."
She gave a heaving sigh, eyes shining with tears again.
"I know you think that you think you'd be burdening me, but... we carry the same burden. I'm not asking for more than just for you to try and for you to keep thinking about, what I offered before. But, unlike your friends, who knew you would never say yes if they gave you the choice - I'm begging you to let me in. Allow me to help. They wouldn't like to see you like this, wouldn't want you to be alone, and I don't want you to be alone anymore either."
She released his hand to sit back, take up the chocolate bar, opening it and breaking off a piece, offering it to him in an open palm.
"I want you to be happy too. If I could share with you, I'd be happiest. And then we'd both be happy."
Her message was as clear as it was when she was seven, except she wasn't seven anymore.
He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. He was right to worry about her after he stopped his letters, but he hadn’t listened to himself. What he wanted was her to stop worrying about him, to stop caring, to stop thinking about him, but he knew the reverse would be impossible, so why did he want her to do the same? Understanding that feeling, as he felt the same way but in reverse to her, he couldn’t help but wonder how much more he would hurt her by accepting her help. Complicating her life. He just wanted her to live and be happy and not worry about him, but he couldn’t help but make her worry. How could he find a middle ground? Where they both could be happy.
He looked at the chocolate she was offering, and his mouth turned into a sad frown. While his eyes weren’t watering and about to tear up, the sadness was real and very obvious. The guilt, the pain, the worry, it was all coming back to him, remembering when she said that to him before. Remembering Dora’s words from the other day, he placed a hand on his chest, the wounds mostly healed and scarring up, but still painful.
With his free hand he reached out and took the chocolate, taking a small nibble from it and nodding at her, the guilt still very clearly showing on his face. The chocolate didn’t seem to taste as sweet as it normally did, but it was still very good.
“Under… a few conditions, Rose, for my sanity. No money. No… more sending letters to Mot – Amelie that you find in my waste bin. And… if I say no, then you’ll respect my opinion on certain matters. I’ll take the watch if somehow… you can find a way that I could take it off if I lose my supply of the potion.”
Post by Rose Ameile Hunter on Jul 17, 2018 18:19:36 GMT
The moment he took the chocolate from her, she felt herself break from the emotional tension. She stood, the chair moving back noisily and she wrapped her arms gently around his neck. She knew his last transformation had been rough, it had been weighing on her mind along with everything else. She knew she was shaking as she embraced him, finally able to hide her face from him, but the emotion was still so clear. She was embarrassed that he had figured it out that she had sent that letter, but, who else would it had been, anyway?
"Moony," she whispered, voice thick with emotion but it was filled with relief. "You won't regret this. I solemnly swear you won't."
He winced slightly when she wrapped her arms around his neck, the movement having just barely moved him enough so one of his new scars was irritated slightly. But he made no move to move away from her, nor break the embrace.
“Rose, I sincerely hope I won’t. I did promise you all those years ago I would do whatever I could to make you happy. And… I plan to live up to that promise. I promise.”
Post by Rose Ameile Hunter on Jul 17, 2018 21:28:27 GMT
It hadn't been completely what she wanted... almost the same response she had received when she was seven. But she took it at more value than she had then. It would do for now, and serve as her open door, regardless. She would honestly do everything in her power to make things work out for the best. He would see. He wouldn't regret this. She pressed a kiss to his cheek before pulling away to slump back down into the chair across from him, head pouding.
She reached for the chocolate bar again, and for once, in a very long time, began eating it. When had been the last time she had anything chocolate? A month? Two? Ugh, she couldn't remember. She wondered if she had somehow gotten too close to those Dementors patrolling around the school. It didn't seem likely, as she didn't remember seeing any, but who honestly knows.
She looked to her brother sheepishly, "thanks, Moony. I've made a right git out of myself today, acting like that."
She groaned rubbing her head. "Gonagall was right, I am gonna hurt....."
He grinned seeing her eat the chocolate. At least then she could experience the joy of chocolate – it always made him feel better and tended to help people especially when they were around Dementors – or depressed because that was the effect Dementors had. Placing a hand on his cheek and then moving it to where a fresh scar could be found he traced the small new scar before dropping his hand to the side.
“Lesson learned then, yes? It’s always easier to learn from experience than others telling you not to do something. Luckily this one is just… a bit of a hangover as a consequence. Now, don’t feel too bad, you weren’t the git here. The honor belongs to the number one git in the world – me.” He chuckled standing up and patting her head. “If that’s all, I have some marks to give before I plan out my next date with Dora.”
Post by Rose Ameile Hunter on Jul 18, 2018 16:34:42 GMT
Nearly choking on the bit of chocolate in her mouth, "date?! wait, NEXT DATE?! There's already been one?! Merlin's pants Moony you move fast!"
She giggled, standing and pocketing the chocolate before pulling her wand out and waving it at the glass and water. Gonagall would have her head tomorrow if she just left a mess like that. It was cleaned up and the bottle back together and she set the bottle back on the desk.
"I'll follow you out, and then find Dora myself. I'll get all the details from her why you do your marking..."
She snickered. "Plus, I probably worried her too. It's nice, to have people to care for you like that."
His face blushed red. “Well no matter how much I said it wasn’t, you know that day when Sirius got in was a date. We’re… planning a few more outings. Nothing special, you know?” Don’t lie. You’re I love Remus. Admit it. Sadly, his brain said no even if his heart screamed yes.
“I quite enjoy my marking, thank you very much… Just… don’t embarrass me in front of her, yeah?” He was still blushing thinking about it. He wondered when this would end, even though he really didn’t want it to end. “She was worried I’m sure, I bet she would enjoy a talk with you.”
Post by Rose Ameile Hunter on Jul 19, 2018 23:56:52 GMT
"Me?" a wide grin split her face. "Embarrass you? Neverrrrrrrr... Why would your sweet-darling-caring sister ever do such a thing like that?"
Given the fact that I've been pushing her in your direction this entire time since the corridor incident. She feigned an innocent look.
"I'll behave, I swear! I'm nothing but encouraging! Oh! She tells me she has her own little cottage in Hogsmeade. That would be the perfect get away. For two adults to do... adult things."
She gave him an eyebrow waggle, giggling. "Wouldn't want nothing messing up Moony's first girlfriend experience; no way, no how. I won't let anyone, and I mean anyone-" she gave him a pointed glare. "Come between the two of you."
She smiled, patting him gently on the arm as they came to the end of the corridor. "I'll leave you here, darling brother, to resume your professor role, once more."
She stood on her tiptoes to plant one last kiss on his cheek and then turned the corridor.
During the time she was there he attempted to keep himself calm. As soon as she left however, he was starting to breath heavily. Adult things? Oh god. He took in a deep breath watching the door where she had left, his mind going places he hadn’t thought about very often. And it was scary, but exciting as well.
“Oh my god,” He sat in one of the seats for a few moments holding his head and leaning back. It wasn’t long before McGonagall had entered the office again and Remus quickly said his apologies and thanked her for helping Rose out and then he bolted out of there before she could say anything else.
