we are a low word count, any level of experience rp set in harry's 3rd year at hogwarts. students and adults alike are welcome! given we are set fairly early in the series, everything that happens from this point on will be up to us! perhaps sirius black will be cleared and peter arrested, or perhaps something darker lurks in the shadows...
Post by Nymphadora Tonks on Jun 30, 2018 3:07:37 GMT
moonage daydream
09.xx.93
The girl pulled her into a deserted classroom she had yet to check and immediately Tonks' eyes scanned it out of habit. Honestly, with what just happened, she wouldn't be surprised if Sirius had used that brief moment to sneak in. They were near the ground floor and knowing him, he probably has some secret passage that she hadn't discovered yet, but alas, ear wax. Tonks tore her focus from scanning the room to the girl before her who had jumped up to sit on a tabletop. She noted this looked to be one of the many potions rooms. What was she even doing here this late at night? Tonks opened her mouth to inquire but it seemed like the girl had anticipated this.
"Well, I was getting my meds from Snape," she said simply with a shrug. "My brother and I are on the same stuff, so I was doing Snape a favour and was gonna deliver it to him, but it looks I mortified the hell out of him instead. It can wait until morning, no worries."
The girl gave a friendly grin, "so. I guess I'll start, the name's Rose, Rose Hunter. And who might you be, pretty lady?"
Tonks wasn't sure if calling her 'pretty lady' was the girl trying to be friendly and get on her good side... but it was working. Seems like brother and sister both had a knack for being charismatic. It was like you couldn't dislike these two even if you wanted. The girl was swinging her legs, which really showed how young she was, but Tonks was not deceived.
"Nymphadora Tonks, but you can call me Tonks," and she couldn't help but return the smile the girl had plastered on her face.
"Are you and Remus old flames, or something? He never talked about any girl before, and you two seemed... aquainted?"
Tonks gave a snorting laugh. "Old flames? No. And where did you hear such an old phrase?" Rose gave Tonks a look that read, 'where do you think' and Tonks laughed again. Seriously, these two.
"So, you just met today?"
"Well, we have a mutual friend. So we sorta know each other," Tonks explained and Rose made an "oh" shape with her mouth and nodded.
Rose seemed to think on her next question before she slid off the desk. "Well, that's all I needed to know. I hope he doesn't hide for very long from you, he's kind of annoying like that. Have a good night!"
And with that, Rose disappeared back into the school leaving Tonks just a tiny bit taken aback.
Everything had gone wrong. He was here to teach, not hook up with pretty cousins of the guy who betrayed him. Hell, he wasn’t supposed to hook up with anyone. That wasn’t why he was here. So why was it that even after he ran to his office, he couldn’t stop thinking about her?
The taste of her lips, the way she smelled, the way she looked. Her bubblegum pink hair. Her curious and innocent eyes. Taint. That’s what he had done to her. He tainted those beautiful lips with his, because of his curse. He was not a whole person – he was a beast and allowing that was proof that he was just a beast even without transforming. It was so hard for him to keep himself in check knowing everything he did was hurting everyone around him. Or it would hurt when they found out about his curse. Who wanted to kiss a werewolf? No one. They were hated and feared. There was likely a misconception that kissing a werewolf could possibly get you infected, or even touching one. When she found out…
Then he heard banging on his door, realizing he hadn’t slept at all. Reacting on a wolfish instinct, he quickly got up, opening his window and had a foot on the ledge when the door swung open and he looked back at her like a wounded dog. “I – I was just –“ There was no excuse, and he knew it. He stepped off the window ledge with the one leg that was on it and walked behind his desk, his eyes with dark circles under them from the lack of sleep.
Clearing his throat, he took a seat at his chair in an attempt to look dignified. “Yes, Rose, what can I do for you?”
She was two seconds of opening her mouth but then she saw the dark circles under his eyes and she slumped into a chair. Goddamnit. He had looked so happy last night and she was just gonna goodnaturedly come in here and tease him until his face was as red as a Weasley's hair, but nope. Now he had to look downtrodden and depressed. She found herself groaning in annoyance.
"Oh, don't you give me your 'teacher tone'," she said with a roll of her eyes. "I was gonna come in here, and give you hell, but; well; you've already done so, in the worst way."
She sighed feeling tears spring to her eyes again and she closed them against the tears to force them back, but all that really did was cause her eyes to shimmer with those unshed tears. She stood, sighing, going into her bag and setting a large bottle of clear liquid on his desk. "I had been on my way to deliver this, from Snape, to save you... and apparently him the annoying of being in each other's presence. It about to be that time again, so make sure to drink it. It only works properly when it's drunk in time."
She was about to turn away then, but as her hand left the bottle, a surge of emotion welled up and a soft sob escaped her. "I miss my brother Remus, I miss what we used to be."
Remus looked at her, keeping his cool and attempting to look professional, but this wasn’t professional, it was personal. Even still, he had to keep his cool or he would lose what little respect she had for him left, or at least that was what he thought. He pinched his nose and shook his head, so he could wake up a bit more despite the lack of sleep and then he turned his eyes to hers, shimmering with tears. Quite honestly, the lack of sleep was making him want to cry as well. Cry about the fact he could never be with Tonks. Cry about the fact he was too worried about his sister to really see how she was doing without the kid messing with her head. Cry about the fact she could never be whole. Cry about the fact they were both cursed to live terrible lives. But he knew he couldn’t. He had to be strong, and he had to accept that fact he thought he had accepted years prior.
“I’m sorry, Rose.” He shook his head lightly and looked down at his lap, twiddling his thumbs to keep his hands from shaking from the stress he was being put through. Men his age didn’t have grey hairs, but he did. He took the bottle and set on the floor, so it wasn’t blocking their view of each other on his desk, and in case a student walked in and was wondering what it was – he didn’t want to be found out so quickly, he was enjoying this despite everything more than anything in the last twelve years.
“I can’t – I can’t risk it anymore. I can’t fool myself into thinking everything is going to be alright. Neither can you. She – She’s a wonderful lady, but I can’t let her carry my burden. It’s mine, and mine alone. I’m too old, too poor, too dangerous. And she doesn’t even know why that last one would be a problem yet. A relationship is built on trust, Rose, and I can’t trust anyone with my secret because then I’ll lose them and everything I have left. I know you think I’m being harsh, or short-sighted, but that is how the world works and – there’s no escaping it. I’ve grown up out of those idealistic ideas that I could ever be accepted. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m not the brother you love.”
"It's not even that Remus, it's not even the outside world. You can't even trust me. Your own flesh and blood and afflicted with the same curse as you! Okay, sure; I get that the way I've dealt with it is much different than you went through, sure; I get that and I get that I've been very careless and stupid because I grew up with it differently. You probably get it by now that I don't see it as a problem, that I don't let it affect my everyday life and relationships, because I grew up with it differently. You could have too, you know. But you were so angry with mom you left..."
she trailed off, taking a deep breath to pull herself back together. God, she didn't realize how much she hurt. She had been so distracted that even after the train she just had put it out of her mind. But standing here now, seeing him like this. How they were, it all came crashing back to her. It was wrong to think he was being selfish, but he was. He was hurting the people around him because he couldn't just break out of the mindset that everyone was going to automatically reject him because of this. She had seen the difference, sure, people were still wary, but when you have it controlled properly and you don't let it run your life, people tend to relax. She gave another sigh.
"But you can be and I know, you know, that you can be," she looked at him, a determination in her eyes. She wasn't much for secrets, they dragged you down into a black hole that was cold and lonely. She moved around the desk to throw her arms around him, knowing he probably wouldn't accept the affection but she was going to what she very well pleased. Regardless of how she was feeling, this was her brother and she was doing her best to be understanding of his standpoint, she just wished he would be understanding to hers.
"You know what we need?" she whispered into his ear. "We need to spend a full moon night together."
His eyes widened when she wrapped her arms around him and whispered to him. He could feel the fear creeping up into his mind. He couldn’t be sure he wouldn’t hurt her. He couldn’t be sure of anything even on the potion. He couldn’t risk that. He couldn’t do that, and she knew it. She shouldn’t even have suggested it. But there was a tug at his heart that made him want to do it – he didn’t know why. It was like it would help bond them together, which he wanted – he wanted to be connected to her, but he also didn’t want to hurt her, and it was easier if she hated him. Even if it was harder on him.
“No.” His voice had come out raspy and low, as if his throat was dry. “You could get hurt. I would never forgive myself if I hurt you like that.” She was right, he didn’t return the hug at all, his arms firmly at his side, though he almost hugged her back before he managed to stop himself. He craved for her approval – for her love. However, he couldn’t do what she wanted of him. Despite being a Gryffindor, despite being able to face dementors and traitors and fight in the war against Voldemort before, he couldn’t face himself under control of himself each month with his sister by his side. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust her – he didn’t trust himself.
“I was angry when I left, but I stayed gone because… I knew they wouldn’t want me. I would just interrupt their lives – your life. It’s easier without me. You were happy before I came here. It would be easier… if you just forgot we were siblings and just treated me like your professor instead. I’ll do the same. I’ll stay out of your life if you want me to.”
At his resistance her stubbornness caused her to hold on tighter, a sad smile much like his own on her lips. He thinks she could dare to hate him, he think he could make her hate him by trying to push her away, their parents away, but the truth was, is they all still worried.
Truth was, even upset, she had written home immediately when she got back up to her room in Ravenclaw Tower, and sent an owl immediately with that letter to let her mother know, because they had all been very worried for the last... she doesn't even remember how many years. The owl returned a few hours later with a small package. She would give that to him soon. But it was something she knew she would help them all.
But first, she would need to get him to trust her. She was determined to get him to spend the full moons with her.
"I don't want you to stay out of my life. I don't want to forget that we're siblings."
She sighed, resting her cheek against his, "I wasn't happy with out you. As I said before, I missed you; I missed us. I just wish you would trust yourself with me, please. It doesn't have to be this next time, it can be the next one, it can be six months from now. Just, please. Give us a chance."
He swallowed looking to the side for a moment and then back over her shoulder, a single tear wetting her shoulder and he hugged her back tightly. He was incredibly afraid, more afraid than he had ever been since his attack and his first year at Hogwarts. With everything going on right now, there was such a huge chance he could be found out or that he’d forget to take his potion and hurt someone.
“I –“ Was he really going to give them a chance? Another chance for him to be crushed like he was before? Another chance to have those he cared about die on him? If Sirius knew – he would likely want to take away everything he cared about, and even if not him, the world was against him. Was he really willing to risk her dying for his happiness? She said she wasn’t happy but… he didn’t quite believe that, but could he fool himself that it could be true?
“On two conditions.” He whispered this while he held onto her, hugging her tightly never wanting to let go of his baby sister. “If something goes wrong and you’re in control… you run. And secondly… be careful. If that boy makes you happy, then be happy but – don’t ever forget what might happen if he finds out. Don’t let your heart get broken.”
"Moony..." The moment he returned the hug, tears sprang to her eyes and she buried her face into his shoulder, was he finally allowing her back into his heart? She didn't know, but when the grip tightened she had an inkling that maybe that's what it was. "I promise." She whispered, her voice full of emotion, "but promise me you'll do what makes you happy too."
She pulled away enough to look at him, her eyes sparkling with tears still left unshed. She just felt so happy right now, she couldn't explain it. She felt so light and free like they were back to when they were little. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling, "
His eyes clenched tighter a second tear falling to her shoulder when she said that name he hadn’t heard in ages. All of those good times, all those bad. Along with being deprived of sleep, it didn’t bode well for looking tough, a couple more tears falling down without him being able to control them. When she pulled back, he wiped his face of the tears and smiled at her.
“Just being here, with you and being able to feel… normal for once in my life, that’s what makes me happy. Not… snogging a girl I just met. Not even having the ability to have Wolfsbane. A tiny bit seeing James’s son growing up, but that’s more bittersweet.” He placed a hand on his cheek where she had kissed, sighing and smiling back, not the one he used all the time to make people feel better around him, a genuine, happy smile.
He raised an eyebrow and poked her cheek. “This doesn’t mean I won’t be keeping an eye on that kid. Everyone you hang out with better treat you right. Especially the cute young ones.” He laughed softly and rose from his seat. “I’m not sure about contacting Father and Amelie yet. That might take a bit more time.”
She saw the tears but did not mention it other than brushing her hands along his cheeks, her heart melted at the smile he gave her, it was finally a real smile, a smile that she hadn't seen in awhile. "Well if there's anything else, and I mean anything at all that makes you happy, make sure you grab hold of it. And maybe kiss it, okay?"
She gave him a wink and she smirked, finally able to tease him for last night. She giggled, "well you keep an eye on me and I'll keep on eye on you and miss pretty lady Tonks there."
If this had happened in front of Harry or any of his students, he would’ve been horrified. He was a very private person, but she was his family. He knew her for as long as she was alive. He knew her from even before everything fell apart, albeit just for a little bit. He wouldn’t feel safe to show these tears or these feelings to anyone else in the entire world – not even Tonks, whom he had just snogged last night. He could practically hear James and Lily and Peter… and even Sirius cheering over that, and he just wanted to retreat into a hole and never come out. But here was Rose, dragging him out much like his friends would have done if they were here.
“I – “ He started, stammering incoherently for a short time, “Th-There’s nothing going on w-w-with us! I – I’m too d-dangerous and old and p-poor! If she knew – she would hate me. I – Sh-She is a very pretty lady, but – but I doubt sh-she could ever care for someone like me.” His face was a deep red and his eyes were no longer stinging from the tears, and instead were full of embarrassment. “She kissed me, I – I didn’t – I mean, it was nice, I’ve never really kissed anyone before and it was v-very nice but…” Remus couldn’t come up with a good argument. He really liked her, but he knew it would be doomed to fail once she found out what he was.
"Iiiii don't care who kissed who and if she really kissed you, then why wouldn't she care? Don't people kiss people because they like them?" She rolled her eyes pulling away from him looking at her watch. "Silly Moony."
She finally felt like she was really smiling again, all through Beauxbatons a lot of her smiles were forced or fake because she was always constantly worried. But now, she had her brother back and it was step one of her plan finally completed. Hell, she had been so upset that once the time came for her exam on Patronuses at Beauxbatons she couldn't even get the mist. It was so sad. She had run that day and locked herself in her room for three days, worrying pretty much all her classmates and their headmistress. It was the one time they had actually shown genuine concern for her too and that day made her realize that even with her being what she was, people still had the ability to care. Thinking of it, she grinned. "Oh, that reminds me. You've never seen my Patronus either! I couldn't even cast one on the train. But, now, I think I can."
She turned away from him and back to the class, pulling her wand from her coat, she gave him one last wink. "Expecto Patronum!"
Silver mist protruded from the wand and for a moment, she was worried that it hadn't been enough, but a fierce determination found it's way into her eyes and she closed her eyes, focusing on her happy thought and once again, stated, "Expecto Patronum!"
Silver mist turned to the very shimmery form of a she-wolf who turned to the two of them then turned its eyes on Remus and bowed before evaporating into mist.
Rose was very emotional at this point. "This... this had been the first time I've been to see her full since I learned the spell.... I... wasn't even able to produce it when I had my exam..."
“Y-Yes well she doesn’t know any better yet. She doesn’t know what I am.”
And that was when the patronus came. He could tell she was so proud of it, but Remus’s initial reaction to it showed on his face, and it was almost disgust, but it was more disgust mixed with fear. They were a lot alike, a lot more than some might think looking between the two. He was more refined, and she was wild. She was happy and idealistic, and he was depressed and realistic. He saw the world for what it was, beautiful, but not towards people like them. She saw the world for what it could be, beautiful, even for people like them. Yet when that patronus turned towards him and bowed, he couldn’t help but think it was not good for her, even if she could perform the corporeal version. Which was a very major piece of magic.
“That’s – that’s wonderful,” The initial look had disappeared in a split second replaced by a proud smile, “The patronus is a very complex piece of magic, and a corporeal version… is one of the marks of a very powerful witch or wizard. I’m… proud of you.” Despite being scared and worried about that animal being your patronus, much like mine which might hint at your true nature! But regardless of those darker inner thoughts, he was truly proud of her for it.
